In my ten years of preaching, there have been a few occasions where a fellow brother or sister in Christ has fallen away from the Lord. Of course, the New Testament teaches that when this happens, we must engage in a process that begins with attempts to persuade the erring saint to return to the Lord and that ends (if there is no repentance) with the removal of fellowship (1 Cor. 5). I have been in those business meetings and have taken part in those awkward conversations with brethren where these situations have been discussed. What is the issue? Why has this person fallen away? Who's going to visit and encourage this person? How much time are we going to give them? And...it was always understand that IF this person didn't repent, we would have to follow the instructions of 1 Corinthians 5 by publicly removing fellowship and even privately ending our social interaction with them (vs. 10-11; 2 Thess. 3:14).
These discussions and decisions are never easy, but unfortunately, there have been times when certain brethren (usually friends and family of the erring Christian) have made the situation so much more difficult by resisting the church's efforts to admonish and/or discipline the erring Christian. Some merely try to stall the process while others get angry. They feel the need to protect their friend or family member from the "big, bad church." While they themselves often disapprove of the conduct of the erring Christian, they may feel that the church is unloving and that with a little more patience and tender encouragement, the person may come around on their own...in time...maybe...even if all that means is that they're grudgingly showing up at church once a week to avoid discipline.
Along these same lines - and to make the issue more personal - it's common for someone to see or hear about the sinful practices of a fellow Christian and to respond by doing all they can to keep it hidden from principled brethren, especially the church's leadership. Certainly, if you see a fellow Christian making sinful choices or living a double-life, your first step SHOULDN'T be to tell others about it; your first step should be to go to that person privately (Prov. 11:13; Mt. 18:15). And if that's what's happening, then great! But there is a problem, I believe, when we see brethren living a double-life and "cover" for them and seek to hide their sin from others in the church.
It's almost as if some have become convinced that the real enemy is not Satan or sin, but the church.
I've been reading in Deuteronomy and stumbled upon these two passages recently. While we're not bound to the old law, I truly believe that the mindset here IS echoed in the New Testament. I would love to see more brethren respond to sin this way...
"If your brother, the son of your mother, your son or your daughter, the wife of your bosom, or your friend who is as your own soul, secretly entices you, saying, 'Let us go and serve other gods,' which you have not known, neither you nor your fathers, of the gods of the people which are all around you, near to you or far off from you, from one end of the earth to the other end of the earth, you shall not consent to him or listen to him, nor shall your eye pity him, nor shall you spare him or conceal him; but you shall surely kill him; your hand shall be first against him to put him to death, and afterward the hand of all the people...so all Israel shall hear and fear, and not again do such wickedness as this among you" (Deut. 13:6-9, 11).
"If there is found among you, within any of your gates which the Lord your God gives you, a man or a woman who has been wicked in the sight of the Lord your God, in transgressing His covenant, who has gone and served other gods and worshiped them, either the sun or moon or any of the host of heaven, which I have not commanded, and it is told you, and you hear of it, then you shall inquire diligently. And if it is indeed true and certain that such an abomination has been committed in Israel, then you shall bring out to your gates that man or woman who has committed that wicked thing, and shall stone to death that man or woman with stones...The hands of the witnesses shall be first against him to put him to death, and afterward the hands of all the people. So you shall put away the evil from among you" (Deut. 17:2-5, 7).
Instead of taking offense when the unrepentant sin of a friend or loved one (in the church) is exposed, we ought to be the one exposing it and holding them accountable. Instead of delaying the church's efforts to deal with this sin, we ought to be the ones expediting the process. Instead of getting angry when our brethren seek to deal with our sin or with the sin of a loved one, we ought to be thankful...thankful that they have enough love and courage to do what God has commanded them to do.
If all Christians had this mindset, I can guarantee you that "church discipline" would be so much more effective and that more erring brethren would return to the Lord.
We have to make a choice. Either we trust God's plan or we do not. Either we truly love the Lord first and foremost, or we place friendship and family-ties above the Lord and His church.
Something to think about.
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