Proverbs 13... Don't Spare the Rod!

"Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him." (Prov. 13:24)

We live in a society that is growing more and more soft when it comes to discipline. Nowadays, spanking is frowned upon by many. If a person spanks their child, others look on with disgust. In some parts of the world (and perhaps even some parts of America), spanking is viewed as child abuse and there can be legal consequences. Even some parents have said, "I love my child too much to spank them."

I have nothing to say to those people who reject the Bible, nor do I have anything to say to those who claim to be Christians who argue that the Bible is outdated and no longer applicable. There is nothing I can say to people like that.

But I can say something to those of you who respect the Bible as the word of God.

The verse cited above plainly says that if you love your child, you will discipline them. And Solomon here isn't talking about time-out or being grounded. He is very specific when he says, "Whoever spares the rod hates his son." The Hebrew word for rod is shebet which means, "to branch off; a scion, that is, (literally) a stick (for punishing, writing, fighting, ruling, walking, etc.) or (figuratively) a clan: - X correction, dart, rod, sceptre, staff, tribe." That is the definition found in Strong's.

Solomon is not saying that we should take a baseball bat to our kids, nor is he authorizing physical abuse. He's not telling us to beat our kids to death. But he is certainly authorizing corporal punishment.

There are several things that we need to understand about corporal punishment. First of all, as Solomon indicates here, all punishment is to be motivated by love. Too often, parents spank their children in the heat of the moment, when they're angry and out-of-control. This is not discipline. It is you losing your temper. Solomon says that our motive should be love.

When your child disobeys your order the first time, you must go to them in a calm way, explain to them that they are about to be disciplined because they disobeyed you, and afterwards, tell them that you love them and that it's very important to do what mommy/daddy says. Do this every time they disobey. Don't do it every other time, or every tenth time. Be consistent.

I am fully convinces that consistent, loving, controlled discipline works!

Of course, there is more to parenting than discipline. There ought to be training as well, along with positive reinforcement and relationship-building practices. Children are a heritage from the Lord (Ps. 127:3) and we ought to cherish every moment we have with them. It is a huge responsibility that requires a lot of sacrifice and devotion on our part, but it is worth it. The time passes by quickly. They'll be 18 before you know it. Understand your obligations and take the time to raise your kids God's way!