"Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. It is better to be of a lowly spirit with the poor than to divide the spoil with the proud." (Prov. 16:18-19)
We use the word pride a lot nowadays. We talk about how we're proud of our children, proud of our accomplishments, proud of our country, proud of...well, you get the idea. Typically, when we talk about pride, we do not have this negative image in our mind. To the average person, pride is just a feeling of satisfaction. That's how most people use the word, and that's fine.
But then there is a negative usage of the term, and that's what Solomon has in mind here. The Hebrew word for pride in Proverbs 16:18 is gaon which means, "arrogancy, excellency (-lent), majesty, pomp, pride, proud, swelling." Based on this definition, we might say that pride is synonymous with arrogance, haughtiness and conceit. As Paul says in Romans 12:3, "For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned." That is the essence of pride.
Pride is so dangerous because ultimately it leads to our downfall, as Solomon indicates. It may cause us to be dishonest, selfish, wrathful, close-minded, rude and bitter. A proud person will not admit that he is wrong, because that would be "weak" and embarrassing. A proud person will often demand the preeminence in every situation and will seek to ruin anyone who is viewed as a challenge to his position.
I want to take just a few moments to discuss the destructive nature of pride in various situations.
Pride can destroy a family. Husbands and wives are going to have disagreements. Some of those disagreements will be major and may even last for days or weeks. Hopefully, both sides are humble and the problem will be swiftly resolved, but when there is pride, the problem will only worsen. Pride often hinders one or both sides from admitting their wrongdoing. Concession and compromise are almost impossible in the presence of pride. Men especially, because they often feel like their position of headship is under attack, are prone to pride. The results can be disastrous: a severely damaged marriage, a broken marriage or even divorce. And then there are the unintended consequences: emotionally distraught children, spiritual frailty, etc.
Pride can destroy a church. There are some preeminent men in the church that will do anything to maintain some degree of power and influence. Sometimes, a man may rebel against the leadership of the church (i.e. the elders) because he does not like being under their authority. Women are not immune from this, either. Pride, of course, can spring up during disagreements and debates. Doctrinal debates become competitions where both parties are only trying to "win the argument." Personal disagreements are often inflamed due to arrogance and a refusal to humbly follow the biblical pattern (Mt. 18:15-17). Many churches have divided unnecessarily because of pride.
Pride can destroy friendships. Have you ever known two friends who had a disagreement and because of pride never resolved that disagreement and as a result their friendship ended? It happens all the time. Or have you ever known someone who was so arrogant and so proud that it was hard to be around them too long?
Pride can destroy your relationship with God. James 4:6 says, "But He gives more grace. Therefore it says, 'God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble,'" and in verse 10, "Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you." God demands humility. He is our Master and we are the servants. He makes the rules and we follow them. The whole concept of Christianity is rooted in humility. Humility permits us to acknowledge our wrongs before God that we might be forgiven (1 Jn. 1:9). It allows us to serve God and our fellow man. Humility moves us to obey the law of God. Pride hinders us in every respect. An arrogant person will not see that God is greater, and thus they will not obey. A haughty person will not be willing to be a servant. A prideful person will refuse to acknowledge his own sinfulness.
Indeed, Solomon was right when he said "Pride goes before destruction."
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